A Beautiful Soul
by blondigirl
Summary: Spike returns to Sunnydale after receiving his soul. This is a new twist on season 7. Spuffiness all the way. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Return to Sunnydale

This is my first attempt at fanfiction so I hope you like it! Please review and leave any comments or advice you might have. DISCLAIMER: All of the characters in this story and some of the plot ideas are the sole property of Joss Whedon, not me. Sigh...  
  
Spike dragged himself out of the cave, not even attempting to stand. His open wounds stung like fire, but it wasn't the physical pain that was unbearable. Sure the demon had tortured him and put him through test after agonizing test, but it was the pain he felt inside that stung the most. The pain of receiving his soul.  
He collapsed upon the ground, hoping in vain that the damp earth would ease his pain. In his mind it had all been so simple. Go to the cave, get back his soul, give Buffy what she deserved. Then she would love him and they could finally be together. He had never considered that his soul would change him. That it would almost kill him.  
So many thoughts were racing through his mind. All the things he had done... all the people he had... No. It was too much to bear. He closed his eyes and whispered a single word. "Buffy." Then he fell unconscious.  
  
Buffy whistled a happy tune as she finished washing the breakfast dishes. A gentle breeze wafted in through an open window, causing her golden hair to dance and sway.  
'Things are finally getting better,' she thought to herself. 'If I didn't know better I'd say they were almost... normal.'  
A cheerful teenage girl skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Hey Buffy," she said as she grabbed a bag lunch off the kitchen counter.  
  
Buffy smiled down at her little sister. "Hey Dawny." She still couldn't believe how much Dawn had grown in the past few months. She was no longer a little girl... she was a young woman now.  
"I've gotta run... school awaits," said Dawn with a grin. "Otherwise you know I'd help you wash those dishes."  
Buffy rolled her eyes. "I can hear the disappointment in your voice. You'd better hurry or you'll be late."  
"Yeah.. bye Buffy!" said Dawn as she hurried out the door.  
Buffy finished her chores as her mind drifted back to the events of the past few months. After Willow's near apocalypse, Giles had taken her to England in hopes of teaching her to control her powers. Last Buffy had heard Willow was making great progress. Xander and Anya were actually speaking to each other now, even if Anya was technically still a vengeance demon. The new principal at Dawn's school had even offered Buffy a job as a guidance counselor. Everything in her life seemed to be falling into place and she was finally happy. Well... almost happy.  
Another thought entered her mind and Buffy's smile curled slowly downward. She hadn't seen him since that night. The night he had tried to...rape her. 'How could I have been so stupid?' she asked herself. She knew all along he was a demon, a monster, but she let her emotions get in the way. Even when he said he loved her, she knew that wasn't possible. He was a demon. What do demons know about love?  
Buffy shook her head, hoping to shake the unsettling thoughts from her mind. It was over now. She never had to see him again and that was how she wanted it. That was how it had to be.  
  
He stood outside Buffy's house looking in through the front window. 'She looks so happy,' he thought as he watched the slayer laughing with her friends. He saw the Niblet and... bloody hell. There was Xander juggling oranges and balancing a banana on his nose. 'Some people never change,' thought an irritated Spike.  
As he buried the remains of a cigarette into the ground with his boot he asked himself for the millionth time what he was doing there. He knew they could never be together. Of that much he was sure. But he still had to tell her... let her know... 'What? What could I possibly say?' he argued with himself. 'Hey luv, came to say I'm sorry... how about we grab a cup of coffee and chat like old chums?' Yeah... that would go over well.  
He also wondered how she would react to seeing him. A part of him wished she would just stake him in the heart and get it over with. Maybe then he could be at peace.  
His thoughts were interrupted as a figured emerged from the house. An unneeded breath caught in his throat when he realized it was Buffy. She stood gazing up at the stars, a thoughtful expression on her face. Spike stood silently, watching her, thinking again of how she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid eyes on.  
As if sensing his presence, Buffy turned towards the tree Spike was standing under.  
'This is it,' he thought. Taking a deep breath he walked out from under the willow branches.  
"Hello Buffy." 


	2. The Wish

Hope you liked the first chapter. Things get better in this one... I promise. Also, please see disclaimer in chapter 1.  
  
Buffy walked outside a moment for a breath of fresh air. The night was calm and peaceful and stars sparkled overhead like diamonds caught in the sky. She heard the chirping of crickets from a nearby bush, the whisper of wind through the willow leaves, the sound of Spike calling her name. Wait... Spike?!  
Buffy gasped and almost fell into the cricket bush. She looked up and saw Spike staring back at her, waiting anxiously for a response. For a moment she didn't know what to do. A part of her wanted to scream at the bleached-haired vampire for all that he had done to her. How dare he come back to Sunnydale. For some reason though she couldn't utter a word. All she did was stare into the piercing blue of his eyes.  
After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Buffy crossed her arms in a defensive position and spoke. "What do you want Spike?"  
Spike took a few steps forward and smoothed back his blond hair. "I came because I had to let you know... I..."  
As he struggled to find the right words Buffy was struck with the look of concern and intensity on his face. It was a look she didn't remember seeing before. Not only that, something else seemed different about him. His hair wasn't as unruly as it used to be and was he actually wearing a green sweater? She didn't know his wardrobe consisted of anything other than black t-shirts and army boots.  
"I'm sorry," Spike finally blurted out. "I've changed now and I'm sorry. I know it's not enough."  
"You're right," Buffy replied, lips firmly pressed together. "It's not enough."  
The two were interrupted as the door to Buffy's house swung open and Xander appeared in the doorway. His face was a mixture of fear and panic. Buffy knew immediately that something was wrong. "What is it Xander?"  
"Anya just called. She's at the bronze and she says there a demon there attacking people." He was so preoccupied with delivering his message that he didn't even notice Spike standing on the lawn.  
"Alright," said Buffy as she effortlessly slipped into slayer mode. "You stay here with Dawn and I'll check it out."  
Xander nodded. "Anya's still on the phone. I'll let her know." With that he disappeared back into the house.  
Buffy turned and faced Spike who was quite thankful the juggling buffoon hadn't noticed him. She didn't want to spend any more time with him than was necessary but she knew she might need backup if the demon was too powerful.  
"Do you have my back?" she asked.  
Spike grinned and nodded. "Till the end of the world luv."  
  
When they arrived at Sunnydale's favorite hangout, they found it in a state of total chaos. People were running this way and that, trying to escape whatever creature was inside the building. Anya was standing near the entrance and ran over to meet Buffy and Spike. "Spike!" was the first word out of her mouth. "What are you doing here? I thought you tried to rape Buffy."  
'Thank you Anya,' thought Spike when he noticed Buffy turning an unhealthy shade of white. "You said there was a demon?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.  
"Oh right," said Anya as though she had almost forgotten. "It's a Mondark demon. Nasty little creature. Well, not really little... that's why I called you here, because you're the slayer."  
Anya was interrupted when a giant green monster, the size of a truck crashed through the wall of the Bronze. It growled and bared its sharp, yellow teeth when it noticed the threesome standing in its way.  
Without a moment's hesitation, Buffy and Spike began fighting the monstrous creature. It was as if they could sense each move the other was about to make. When Spike attacked from the front, Buffy struck from behind. When one fell, the other was there to take over the fight. They fought side by side, attacking the demon until it finally collapsed defeated.  
"Wow," said Anya when the fight was over. "You two sure make a good team."  
Buffy dusted herself off and frowned at the dirt stain on her new lavender tank top. She knew Anya was right. She and Spike did make a good team, but that didn't change anything. Spike still had to leave. Too much had happened between them. She opened her mouth about to tell Spike it was time for him to go when he beat her to it.  
"Well pet. I guess it's time for me to leave. I think you've got things covered here."  
Buffy was stunned. Spike had never offered to leave before. Usually she had to argue with him for days and even then he never went away for long.  
"Yeah," she finally managed. "I think you're right."  
Spike nodded his head. "I just needed you to know is all. You won't have to see me ever again."  
With a small smile he turned and started heading away. When he was out of earshot Buffy let out a deep breath she hadn't even realized she was holding.  
"I can't believe it," she said half to Anya and half to herself. "Did he really just come here to apologize?"  
Anya shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant manner. "Men are strange. You learn that after a hundred years as a vengeance demon. They're unpredictable.. kindof like dogs, or penguins maybe."  
Buffy thought a moment, ignoring the strange penguin comment. "You've got that right. I just wish... I wish I knew what he was really thinking."  
Anya's eyes grew large. "Uttoh..." she whispered. A bright yellow orb appeared in Anya's hands and flew towards an unsuspecting Spike. It hit him in the back and sent him flying into a pile of garbage bags.  
"Anya!" cried Buffy. "What did you do?"  
Anya shook her head, clearly distressed. "You know I'm a vengeance demon. You can't make a wish without me having to grant it. It's not my fault!"  
"Oh no," whispered Buffy. "I wished I knew what he was thinking."  
She set off running down the alleyway to the place Spike had fallen. One thought raced through her mind. Whatever just happened, it couldn't be good. 


	3. Vampire Thoughts

As usual, info about the disclaimer is in chapter 1. Here's the next chapter. Don't forget to review please (  
  
Buffy ran over to Spike and found him struggling to stand among the maze of garbage bags.  
"What the bloody hell was that?" he exclaimed still unsure of what had just attacked him.  
"It was Anya," said a breathless Buffy. "Well she didn't mean to... I sort of made a wish."  
"Sorry!" said Anya as she caught up with the two blonds. "But don't blame me. It was your girlfriend's fault."  
"I'm not his girl..." began Buffy but thought better of it. Now was not the time to start a fight.  
'I knew it. I come, do nothing but apologize, and Buffy still finds some reason to attack me.'  
"Hey!" said Buffy, frowning at now standing vampire. "That's not fair?"  
  
Spike looked at her as if she had grown two heads. "What's not fair? I didn't say anything?"  
"Yes you did," replied the confused Slayer. "You just accused me of attacking you."  
"Umm... luv," began Spike. I was thinking that but I'm pretty sure I didn't say it out loud."  
"Anya," Buffy turned to the red-headed vengeance demon. "You heard him, didn't you?"  
Anya shifted uncomfortably from leg to leg. "No... he didn't say anything, but he was thinking it. Hence the wish."  
"What wish?" asked the clearly confused vampire.  
Buffy couldn't believe this was happening. "You mean when I wished to know his thoughts? I didn't really mean it Anya. It was a figure of speech."  
"It doesn't matter," replied Anya. "I don't have control over what happens after you make a wish. You wish it and I grant it. Those are the rules."  
"You wished to know my thoughts?" cut in Spike. He was finally starting to piece together what was happening. "And you just heard what I was thinking... you're telling me everything I think, you know?"  
Anya nodded her head. "That's how it works."  
"Anya, you have to reverse it," pleaded Buffy.  
"I can't. Without permission from my superiors I can't change any wishes," Anya said in a barely audible voice. "Sorry guys."  
'Buffy can't read my thoughts... she can't find out about my...'  
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "I can't find out about what Spike? You're hiding something aren't you? I knew it! I knew you didn't just come here to apologize to me"  
Spike took a few steps backwards hoping that if he distanced himself from Buffy she wouldn't be able to hear his thoughts. She couldn't find out about his soul. Not like this.  
"I'm not hiding anything," he mumbled. 'This is not good.'  
"No Spike," Buffy replied though he hadn't said a word. "This is definitely not good."  
"Maybe Willow can help," suggested Anya. "I can't break the spell but she's much more powerful than me."  
"She's in England with Giles," began Buffy. "But they were planning on coming to Sunnydale sometime this month anyway. I guess a few days sooner won't hurt."  
Spike felt somewhat better about the possibility of Red breaking the spell, but he was still not pleased with the idea of Buffy reading his mind for the next few days.  
Buffy heard Spike's concerns and gave him a small smile. She could only imagine how she would feel if it were Spike reading her mind.  
"Don't worry," she whispered to him. "Your secrets are safe with me."  
"I know," he said. "You're the only one I can trust anymore." 'Even though I know you'll never trust me,' he couldn't help but think.  
They made eye contact for a moment, both knowing Buffy had heard that last part. They headed back to Buffy's house to make the call to England. Hopefully, Willow and Giles could get to Sunnydale... fast. 


	4. The Case of the Missing Stereo

Thanks to kori hime and Marianne2 for your advice and encouragement. It helped motivate me to write some more today. Well here's chapter 4. Keep the reviews coming please! DISCLAIMER: As usual, see chapter 1 for all information  
  
Xander's demeanor brightened when he saw Anya enter Buffy's house but it just as quickly fell when he saw who else was with her.  
"Spike?!" he asked with incredulity.  
Dawn poked her head out of the kitchen when she heard Xander speak. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she caught sight of the vampire, the same vampire who had tried to hurt her sister.  
"Good!" said a smiling Anya, oblivious to the tension in the room. "Now everyone's reacquainted."  
"What is HE doing here?" Xander continued. He didn't understand why Buffy was just standing there and wasn't pummeling the vampire to death.  
"We sort of have a problem," Buffy replied, "and don't worry, Spike's not going to hurt anyone," she added though she wasn't quite sure of that last part.  
'No,' thought Spike. 'I've hurt more than enough people already and it's just about killing me inside.'  
Buffy was surprised at Spike's thought. Was he feeling remorse for hurting people? That's what vampires do and she thought they enjoyed it. What was wrong with this picture?  
"No, but I might hurt him," threatened Xander. "So what's the problem?" he asked, clearly irritated. He did not like the idea of Buffy being in the same room as Spike.  
Anya cleared her throat. "Well first I want to make it clear that this was NOT entirely my fault." She continued to explain the situation to Xander and Dawn.  
When she was finished Dawn shook her head in disbelief. "You mean everything Spike thinks, you can hear Buffy? That's so cool!"  
Xander was silent for a moment. "Hey Buffster. That time I had to let Spike stay at my house and my stereo disappeared... did he take it?"  
Spike bit his bottom lip and looked nervously at Buffy.  
She couldn't help but grin. Even if she couldn't read his mind, his facial expression gave him away. "Yeah, he took it."  
"I knew it!" exclaimed Xander. "You're going to pay me back for that stereo Captain Peroxide."  
"All right guys," said Buffy, trying to get her friends to focus on the matter at hand. "I'm going to give Giles a call. There's nothing we can do tonight so we might as well not stress about it."  
Everyone nodded in agreement. When Buffy took command no one dared object. Besides, Buffy had dealt with worse things before. A little mind reading couldn't hurt right?  
  
"Ugh... I can't deal with this anymore!" Buffy screamed into her pillow. It was two in the morning and everyone was asleep. Well everyone that is except for her... and Spike.  
After Buffy had made the call to Giles, Xander and Anya went home and Buffy, Dawn, and Spike had gone to sleep. Buffy told the vampire he could spend the night in her basement since he had no where else to go. She was now lying in her bed trying to ignore his never ceasing thoughts but it was no use. Everything Spike thought, she heard. Well... almost everything. There's was something he was hiding and she still couldn't figure out what. It must be something pretty important if he was able to hide it from her even now.  
'I could really go for some blood right now... Who does that ponce think he is? Accusing me of stealing his stereo. Well I did but that's besides the point... I wonder if she can hear my thoughts? Bloody hell. I knew coming here was a bad idea... I wonder if they have any blood in the freezer...'  
Eventually, Buffy could take no more. She groggily got out of bed and searched the floor with her foot for her fuzzy blue slippers. She then headed down the stairs and stopped in front of the basement door.  
'Do I really want to go down there?' she asked herself. Deciding that it was the only way to get some peace of mind, she quietly opened the door and searched the darkness for a sign of the vampire. When her eyes adjusted to the darkness she saw him sitting on an overturned bucket by the far wall of the basement. His head was in his hands and he seemed clearly distressed. He didn't even notice as Buffy silently tiptoed down the stairs.  
"Spike," she began and he looked up, stunned to see Buffy standing there. "There's something wrong isn't there?"  
Buffy didn't know why she felt concern for him. She should hate him. He was a monster after all, but seeing him sitting there, his blond hair tangled and a mess, his eyes red as though he hadn't slept for weeks, she felt as though she had to try and help.  
"Buffy," he said and let out a long sigh. "There's something I have to tell you."  
'This is it. She's going to find out anyway. Might as well tell her now.'  
"What is it?" asked Buffy taking a seat a few feet away on an old trunk. She braced herself for the worse but she was still unprepared for what happened next.  
Tears began falling from Spike's crystal blue eyes. "Buffy, I can't live with myself anymore." 


	5. The Secret Revealed

Thanks for all the supportive reviews! I really appreciate your comments. Here's the next chapter and hopefully I'll get another one up soon. Disclaimer is in chapter 1... you know the drill.  
  
Buffy stared in disbelief as a trail of tears streamed down Spike's cheek and fell like raindrops onto the basement floor. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder but Spike jumped up before she had the chance.  
"No," he whispered. "I don't want you to look at me while I tell you this."  
He walked a few yards away, finding safety in the covering of darkness. Buffy could no longer see him but she could hear his footsteps as he passed from shadow to shadow. Every now and then she caught a glimpse of his blond hair in the moonlight.  
"It happened the night I left," he began. "I... I knew I could never face you again after what I did. I wanted to give you what I thought you deserved."  
Buffy's shoulders tensed. 'What does he mean by giving me what I deserve?' she wondered. 'Is he talking about killing me?' Buffy straightened up and realized that she had to be careful. Even now Spike might have something dangerous up his sleeve.  
Spike paused a moment and then continued. "I had heard of a demon that had power, great power. I knew it could help me get what I needed. So I went to him and... well to put it quiet bluntly... he tortured me... didn't think the Big Bad could handle it but I showed him."  
Buffy could just about stand the anticipation. What was it that Spike wanted so badly?  
"After I passed his tests he gave me what I wanted, what you deserved."  
Spike's footsteps stopped and Buffy realized she was holding her breath.  
"I didn't know it would hurt so much... that I would feel this... remorse... this hatred of everything I've ever done. If only Angel had told me..."  
Buffy gasped. For a moment time seemed to stop. Everything suddenly made sense and yet it was too hard to believe. His soul. He had gotten back his soul, for her.  
There was silence for a moment while the slayer processed all she had just heard.  
'I knew it. She hates me now,' thought Spike. 'I shouldn't have told her.'  
"No." Buffy stood up and slowly walked towards the man who had gone through hell for her.  
"Thank you for telling me." She reached up her hand and brushed away a tear from his cheek. Then, without thinking, she pulled him near and kissed him. It lasted for only a second but it was the gentlest kiss she had ever felt. A surprising thought crossed her mind while she was lost in his embrace. This was the first time she had ever truly seen him... not Spike... but William.  
  
Spike spent the next hour telling Buffy everything he had felt after receiving his soul. They sat on a small cot in the corner of the basement, Spike holding Buffy in his arms and she resting her head on his shoulder. It felt so good confiding in someone and he knew he could trust Buffy with everything. She listened patiently as he spoke of the first horrible nights after he had regained his soul, the ideas of suicide he had wrestled with for hours. The only thing that had gotten him through that difficult time was the thought of Buffy hating him. He couldn't die without telling her how sorry he was for all he had put her through.  
Buffy promised him she would help him get through this. She told him he was capable of so much good and his past didn't matter. What mattered was what he would do with the rest of his life. Somehow, she even convinced him to talk to Angel, the only other person in the world who knew what Spike was going through. After his initial objection to the idea, Spike agreed he would "call the ponce if only to rub it in his face that he wasn't the only vampire with a soul anymore."  
Buffy giggled and Spike smiled. It felt good to hear her laugh again.  
"Come on," she argued. "Angel's not that bad a..."  
Suddenly Buffy let out a painful groan and squeezed Spike's hand. Spike immediately knew something was wrong.  
"Buffy! What is it?" He lifted her head and looked into her eyes, cringing at the expression of pain on her face.  
She struggled to speak. "I don't... know..."  
With that she fell unconscious in Spike's arms. "Buffy!" he pleaded desperately. "Buffy wake up!" but it was no use. The slayer didn't move. The only response was the steady beating of her heart. 


	6. The Mysterious Room

Thanks again to everyone for your reviews! I hope you're having as much fun reading the story as I am writing it. I bet you know what I'm going to say next. Yup! Disclaimer is in Chapter 1.  
Buffy awoke in complete darkness. From a far way off it sounded like someone was calling her name but she wasn't sure.  
"Spike?" she called hopefully but the only response was her own echo. "Where am I?" she asked herself. "Let me guess... another side affect of Anya's spell no doubt."  
As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she carefully explored her new surroundings. The place resembled her basement but was much filthier and much more cluttered. She noticed a pile of dried up roses in one corner. A small leather book lay next to the flowery remains and she picked it up, brushing away the thick layer of dust. She read the inside cover. "William's Book of Poetry: 1880."  
"Who's William?" she thought to herself and then it hit her.  
"Spike..." she whispered. This was his book, but how could that be. She looked around and realized that all the clutter surrounding her were pieces of Spike's past.  
There were pictures on the ground, brittle and yellow with age. Buffy recognized Spike and Drusilla in one. His hair was longer than she was used to, and a dirty blond, not the intense bleached blond he had now, but it was unmistakably him. Another picture was of a pretty blond haired girl and... "Angel," she realized, "and the girl is Darla." For some reason seeing these pictures, these glimpses into Spike's past made her uneasy. It only reminded her that she knew so little of his life.  
A noise started her and she jumped up, her slayer senses at the ready. She noticed a thick iron door a few feet away with an enormous padlock barring any who may enter or leave. As she moved in closer, she noticed the door was covered in blood. She could make out sounds from behind the iron door and they sent chills down her spine. There were screams, horrible screams, and the sounds of people pleading for their lives. Buffy wasn't quite sure what to make of it all but she didn't want to stick around in case something inside managed to escape.  
She continued along in the darkness until she noticed a light shining up ahead. There were voices as well, not the horrific screams she had just heard but the sounds of people talking. Buffy followed the voices hoping somebody might be able to help her. She was not prepared for what she was about to find.  
  
Spike continued holding Buffy and shouting her name, hoping in vain to receive some kind of response.  
Dawn was awakened by Spike's desperate cries. She quickly ran to the basement and down the stairs to see what was wrong. When she saw her sister lying unconscious in his arms, her initial reaction was total panic.  
  
"Spike... you... you didn't..." she stammered. Spike looked up the dark- haired girl and his eyes widened when he realized what she was thinking.  
"No, Niblet. I didn't hurt her," he assured Dawn. "She just... blacked out. I don't know what's wrong."  
Dawn was comforted slightly by Spike's words, but she was still scared. "Maybe it's Anya's spell," she thought out loud. "Maybe there's more to it then we thought."  
"Yeah," Spike replied, brushing a stray strand of hair from Buffy's face. "That must be it."  
Taking a deep breath, Dawn tried to think of what Buffy would do in this situation. Willow and Giles had already planned to take the earliest flight into Sunnydale, and they hoped to arrive by early afternoon. There was no use worrying them until they got here. Xander would probably freak out if he found out about Buffy's condition, but he did have the right to know. He was one of the Scoobies and Scoobies stuck together. Besides, in times of crisis Dawn liked having many friends near.  
"I'm going to call Xander," she finally decided.  
Spike glanced up, his eyes wide. "No offense Niblet but I don't fancy having that ponce drive a stake through my heart when he finds out about Buffy. Chip remember? I can't defend myself if he decides to go on a staking spree."  
"Don't worry," Dawn assured him. "I'll explain everything. Xander will understand."  
  
Spike winced in pain as Xander shoved him into Buffy's refrigerator.  
  
"I knew you were going to hurt her!" Xander yelled like a madman. "I should have killed you a long time ago."  
"Xander!" Dawn yelled. "It wasn't Spike's fault."  
"Yeah, listen to the girl," Spike said hopefully. If he managed to make it through the night, limbs in tact, he was going to have an "I told you so" talk with Dawn.  
"Xander I called you here because I thought you could help. Not so you could let out your frustration on Spike," pleaded Dawn. "Is that what Buffy would want?"  
Xander didn't release his hold on Spike's shirt but the vampire felt his grip loosen slightly. "You Summers women don't seem to get it," Xander replied. "This... this thing is a demon. All he'll ever do is hurt you."  
Spike was almost grateful to see Xander so protective of Buffy. It wasn't like the boy was wrong. He had been and probably still was a monster.  
Suddenly, Spike heard a noise come from the other room. It was so soft that only he could hear it. "Buffy," he said and pushed Xander away so he could get to her side.  
There she was, just as they had left her, sleeping peacefully on the living room sofa. She was saying something though, something so faint that Spike had trouble hearing.  
"What is it?" Dawn asked as she and Xander entered the room. Spike held up his hand signaling them to be quiet. He leaned close to Buffy's mouth and tried to decipher her whispering.  
"Where am I... William... 1880... How could that be?"  
Spike didn't quite understand what she was saying but he knew it had something to do with him. Where was she? Maybe her mind had been transported to another dimension. Maybe she had somehow gone back in time. Spike's head hurt from thinking so hard. Hopefully Willow would come up with some answers, fast. 


	7. Willow's Plan

Thanks to Helaine, Harm Marie, Blackcherrymeg16, King Henry the V, kori hime, Bridget, Mita427, samica, and Marriane2 for your reviews! King Henry the V, as far as I remember, Spike went to the Initiative to have his chip removed and to a cave in Africa for his soul but I could be wrong. Kore hime, thanks for all your encouragement! I agree that the chapters have been a little short so I tried to make this one longer. As usual, I do not own any of the characters in this story. If I did, Angel wouldn't be ending in two days. wipes away a tear  
  
Buffy kept walking towards the light and realized that it was coming from a lamppost. The darkness lifted and she found herself standing in a graveyard. It was a place she knew well, one she visited often while on patrol. The voices were getting louder and she cautiously peered around a bush to see where they were coming from.  
"It can't be," she gasped. "It's me... and Xander."  
Buffy watch in disbelief as she and her friend strolled through the graveyard, laughing and talking as they went. The Buffy she was watching held a stake and was swinging her arm back and forth as she walked.  
"I remember this night," Buffy said out loud. "I'm watching something that already happened."  
She recalled the warm spring night a few months prior when Xander had gone patrolling with her. He had decided that since Buffy couldn't go to the Bronze and have fun, he would bring the fun to her. Buffy smiled remembering the laughter and conversation they had shared that night.  
"Hey!" she shouted as her past self and Xander walked by. "It's me! I don't know exactly how I got here but I'm from the future and..."  
Neither of them even looked up as Buffy shouted and frantically waved in their direction. She dropped her arms and realized it was no use. They obviously couldn't see or hear her.  
"Hello Buffy."  
The sound of Spike's voice nearly caused her to fall over. She spun around and was overjoyed to see the vampire standing there with a smile on his face.  
"Spike!" she shouted and rushed over to hug him. Her joy was short lived however when instead of running into his arms she passed right through his body.  
Stunned, she turned back around and realized that Spike hadn't been calling her. In fact, he hadn't even seen her there. His gaze was intensely focused on the other Buffy, and her heart sank when he started walking away towards her past self.  
"Spike," the other Buffy said with disgust when she noticed the vampire. "What do you want?"  
Spike nervously glanced at the ground before responding. "Just thought you could use some help patrolling. Quite a few nasty creatures out tonight. You might need someone to watch your back."  
"And what makes you think we need your help?" the other Buffy replied coldly.  
"Yeah," cut in Xander. "If you really want to help, do us a favor and leave town."  
Spike chuckled to himself pretending the cruel remarks meant nothing to him.  
"You know Slayer," he began. "One of these days, your smugness is going to land you in some trouble and you'll be begging me to help you out."  
Past Buffy rolled her eyes. "Spike, get a life."  
With that the two friends continued on, laughing and talking about how worthless Spike was.  
Buffy cringed while she watched the scene unfold before her. Had she really been that cruel to Spike? He really hadn't done anything wrong. Sure he was irritating and pompous at times but no one deserved that kind of treatment.  
As the other Buffy disappeared into the distance, present Buffy observed what she hadn't seen the first time.  
Spike shook his head and sighed deeply. "You stupid bloke," he spoke to himself. "You really are an idiot sometimes. No wonder Buffy hates you. The ponce is probably right. Everyone would be better off without me." With that he walked away, leaving a stunned and teary-eyed Buffy behind.  
  
Spike woke when he heard a knock at the door. After stretching and rubbing his eyes he saw that the clock on the stereo read 9:30AM. He got up from the uncomfortable chair he had spent the last few hours sleeping in and noticed Buffy lying on the couch a few feet away. 'She's as beautiful as an angel,' he thought to himself. Dawn was still asleep on the same couch where Buffy lay and Xander was snoring loudly in a chair near the TV set.  
The blond vampire had forgotten what woke him until he heard the knocking once again at the front door. He walked to the door and opened it slowly, trying the best he could to avoid the sun's painful rays.  
Shielding his eyes from the glare, he saw Giles and Willow standing on the doorstep, two brown suitcases at their side.  
"About bloody time you got here," he mumbled as a greeting. He then rethought his unwelcoming welcome and asked, "So... have a nice plane ride?"  
  
Willow and Giles didn't have time to respond before an overeager Xander rushed past Spike and surprised them both with an emotional hug.  
"Willow! Giles!" Dawn exclaimed as she ran out the door and joined the group hug. Spike waited patiently, holding open the door. "Right then," he finally said, realizing that the happy reunion might take a while. "I'll just wait inside."  
A few minutes later, after the four friends had become reacquainted, they entered the house. Dawn led Willow and Giles to the couch where Buffy lay.  
"I already told you everything we know over the phone," Dawn said. "Oh! Except that last night Spike heard her mumbling something about it being 1880 and something about William. We figure she was talking about Spike."  
Giles nodded his head. "And you say that it was a vengeance spell? Those are the worst kind. They always have unforeseen side affects."  
Willow had remained silent till then. "Dawny, you said that Buffy wished to know Spike's thoughts right?" Dawn nodded hoping that Willow was on to something.  
"And she was hearing his thoughts, for a while anyway, before she became unconscious."  
Spike could see the wheels in Red's head turning. What was she getting at?  
"Then maybe she's still hearing his thoughts," she continued, her eyes brightening at her realization. "Giles, I think Buffy is trapped inside Spike's mind."  
Spike was still thoroughly confused. "Trapped inside my mind?"  
"Oh dear. I suppose it does make sense," Giles said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them furiously with his shirt. "If Buffy was talking about Spike, she may be reliving some of his memories."  
"Trapped inside my mind?!" Spike repeated, this time a little louder. "Is that possible?"  
"Sure," said Willow. "Remember the time Buffy became comatose and I did that spell so I could enter her mind? I think this spell might be similar."  
Spike was feeling quite uncomfortable with the whole idea of Buffy walking around inside his head.  
"Well, it's not like anything can hurt her right?" Xander spoke after thinking over Willow's theory. "Memories can't hurt her."  
"Normally I would agree, Xander," began Giles, "but this case is somewhat unusual. I don't recall any records of someone entering the mind of a vampire."  
"Willow!" piped in Dawn. "What if you tried the same spell you used last time to find Buffy?"  
"And put Willow in danger too?" asked Xander. "I don't want both my girls trapped inside that freak's mind."  
Spike ignored the "freak" comment. "Do you think it would work Red?"  
Willow was silent a moment before making her decision. "There's only one way to find out." 


	8. Willow's Plan B

This chapter is a little short but hopefully I'll get another one up soon. Disclaimer is still in chapter 1 (in case anyone didn't know by now) =)  
  
Willow prepared the necessary ingredients for the spell. Spike was sitting on the couch where Buffy lay, nervously squeezing her hand. Xander stood holding a pack of matches as he waited for Willow to finish placing her candles around the room. Giles and Dawn were standing nearby, anxious for Willow to begin her magic.  
"Ok," she said after reviewing the spell one last time. "Xander, you can light the candles now. After that I'll need complete silence."  
Xander nodded his head and did as Willow asked. When the candles were lit, the group turned their attention to the red-headed witch.  
Willow sat on the floor and closed her eyes. She began chanting softly to herself.  
'I hope Red knows what she's doing,' Spike thought to himself. 'Last time she used magic we had a near apocalypse.'  
A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, extinguishing the candles. Willow stopped chanting and her body went limp. No one dared move a muscle in fear of interfering with the spell. Giles, Xander, and Dawn turned to Spike in hope that he could tell them if the spell had worked. He shrugged his shoulders in response. How was he supposed to know whether Willow was inside his mind?  
After a minute of silence, Willow suddenly jerked back her head and started gasping for breath. Xander ran to her side.  
"Willow! Are you ok?"  
She nodded her head and everyone waited until she had caught her breath.  
"I'm fine," she squeaked. "But... I couldn't reach Buffy." She paused a moment before continuing. "I saw something else though." She turned to Spike, her eyes wide. "Why didn't you tell us?" she asked.  
Spike's face grew even paler than normal as all eyes turned to him. "Tell you what, pet?" he asked though he knew exactly what Willow meant.  
"Tell us what?" Xander repeated, confusion written on his face. He wanted to know why Willow seemed so excited all of a sudden.  
"About his..."  
"...soul," said Spike, finishing Willow's sentence.  
Everyone stared at him, stunned.  
"You have a soul?" asked Dawn. "When... how...?"  
"It happened a month ago, Niblet." Spike stared at the floor while he spoke. For some reason he couldn't look anyone in the eye while he told his story.  
"The short version is: I went to a demon to get back my soul. He gave it to me." Spike didn't feel like going into details at the moment.  
"That's incredible!" Dawn spoke.  
Giles nervously fixed his glasses. "Yes... incredible... yes... well." Spike found it somewhat amusing that the Englishman was at a loss for words. Even Xander seemed speechless.  
"What I don't get is why," Xander finally said. "Why did you want your soul? I thought with vampires 'soul' equaled 'not a whole lot of fun'."  
'Now's a good time to change the subject,' thought Spike, not wanting to explain how he had gotten his soul back so Buffy could love him. He knew now that he wasn't worthy of her love.  
"Shouldn't we be helping Buffy?" he asked. The Scoobies nodded their heads in agreement, realizing they needed a new plan to help Buffy.  
"You're right, Spike, but don't think you're getting off the hook that easily," Dawn teased. "After we get Buffy back, I want to hear every single detail."  
Spike smiled. He knew that when Dawn wanted something, she always got her way.  
"Guys," Willow said. "Spike just gave me an idea." She ran out of the room and came back with an ancient, leather-bound book. "This is the spell I just used," she explained after finding the right page. "It didn't work when I was the one trying to reach Buffy, but I didn't even consider the idea of Spike trying to find her. He might have better luck than I did."  
The vampire looked at her confused. "How can I enter my own mind?" The idea sounded crazy to him.  
Willow noticed all her friends giving her strange looks as well. "It's really not that farfetched guys," she began. "Think about it. We only use about 10% of our brains. The other 90% is where we store our memories. Buffy's trapped in the part of Spike's brain where his memories are. That's where he needs to go to find her."  
Spike nodded slowly. The idea was so crazy, it just might work. Besides, it was the only chance they had to find Buffy. "Alright, Red," he said with more confidence then he felt. "You work your magic and I'm going to find myself a slayer." 


	9. In Search of the Slayer

I was just glancing over the story and it looks like the ends of chapters 5 and 8 were cut off. I tried fixing it so hopefully it'll be ok now. Without the endings the chapters don't make much sense. Disclaimer is where it always is. Hope you enjoy the next chapter. Don't forget to review!  
  
After observing Spike's reaction to her cruel words, Buffy felt numb inside. Why had she treated him so badly? The more she thought about it the worse she felt. He had only wanted to help after all.  
Suddenly the scenery around her started spinning, and Buffy felt like she had been sucked up by a tornado. She started feeling dizzy and covered her eyes with her hands. When she uncovered her eyes to see if the spinning had stopped, she was startled to see that she was no longer in a graveyard. Instead, she was standing in the middle of her living room.  
"Thank goodness," Buffy spoke out loud. "That place was just too weird."  
She started searching her house for signs of life. "Dawn!" she shouted. "Spike! It's me!" Faint voices could be heard coming from the kitchen. 'It's probably Dawn and Spike trying to figure out where I went,' Buffy figured. She headed over to the kitchen and felt relieved when she saw that it was indeed Spike who was talking. Her heart quickly sank however when she realized the other person wasn't Dawn as she had thought. Yet again, she found herself staring at a past version of herself.  
"This can't be," she said out loud, but Spike and the other Buffy made no indication of hearing her.  
Spike smiled and laughed at whatever it was the other Buffy had just said. Other Buffy laughed as well and then wrapped her arms around Spike's neck and kissed him passionately on the lips. "Oh Spikey," she whispered into his ear. "I'm so happy we're getting married."  
Buffy's eyes grew huge. "Oh no," she mumbled as she began to fully grasp the situation. It was all coming back to her now. The love spell... Spike proposing to her... the two of them making out in her house... Buffy had forgotten most of the events of that strange night but she was about to get a detailed reminder of everything.  
Buffy groaned and prayed that the scenery would start spinning again so she could get out of there. Still, she couldn't help but notice how happy the other Buffy looked. Never before, did she remember being so content and full of joy. The other Buffy's smile looked so genuine and relaxed. Even Spike looked like he was the happiest vampire in the world.  
'I guess that night wasn't all bad,' she thought to herself, a small smile forming on her lips.  
She watched as Spike ran his hand through the other Buffy's hair and then kissed her lightly on the lips.  
'Yeah,' thought Buffy a little wistfully. 'Not too bad at all.'  
  
Spike looked nervously at Willow and she nodded her head, signaling the beginning of the spell. He took a deep, unneeded breath and braced himself for the worst.  
He listened a moment to Willow's soft chanting. The walls started to slowly spin and the speed seemed to increase with each rotation. Just as Spike was starting to feel really sick to his stomach, everything around him disappeared and he found himself standing in total darkness. He glanced around him, his vampire eyesight quickly adjusting to his new surroundings. "Well Dorothy," he said, "I guess we're not in Kansas anymore."  
'So this is the inside of my mind,' he thought. 'Looks like it needs a good cleaning.'  
He started walking around and recognized various items that were scattered about the ground. "Drusilla's bird cage!" he said spotting the dusty object under a heap of cobwebs. "She never could keep anything alive for more than a week. And look!" He smiled a mischievous grin. "Xander's stereo. It'd be a bloody shame if anything happened to that." Spike joyfully kicked the electronic box and continued to stomp on it until it hardly resembled a stereo at all. "Note to self," he said out loud. "Return stereo to Xander." He continued exploring the various remnants of his life with great amusement. After living over a hundred years he had certainly stored up a lot of memories.  
Something else caught his eye. It was a door, a large iron door with a padlock on the outside. He sensed that Buffy had been standing in the same spot not too long ago. He walked over to the door and was startled to find it covered in dried blood. Spike shuddered when he realized there were shouts and screams coming from the inside. Every instinct told him to turn and run and Spike wasn't one to ignore his instincts. They had kept him alive for this long after all. Still disturbed by his frightening discovery, he moved on, determined to find Buffy. He knew she was near and he wanted to find her before she stumbled across any rooms like the one he had just found. He didn't trust his own mind any more than he trusted Drusilla to take care of a bird. 'I'm the one who has to face my demons, not Buffy,' he thought.  
Up ahead he heard a voice and immediately recognized it as Buffy's.  
"Buffy!" he shouted and set off at full vampire speed to find the girl he loved. 


	10. Three Little Words

As promised, here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think of it. Disclaimer is in chapter 2. Just kidding! It's still in chapter 1. I made you nervous there for a second didn't I? =)  
  
By this time, Buffy had figured out that the place she was trapped in was somehow related to Spike. After her vision of Spike and her past self under the influence of Willow's love spell, she had found herself back in the eerie hall of darkness. "If only I could reach Willow," she thought out loud. "She could get me out of here."  
"Buffy!"  
Buffy spun around, startled by the familiar voice. "Spike? It couldn't be." She strained her eyes to see through the thick blanket of darkness. 'No,' she told herself. 'It's probably just another vision.'  
"Buffy!" Spike shouted again. He was running so fast that he nearly knocked her over as he reached her side  
"Spike! Buffy exclaimed, a wave a relief rushing over her. "It's really you!"  
Buffy was overjoyed at the sight of the vampire and instinctively threw her arms around his neck, almost knocking him over.  
Spike was just as happy if not more so to see that his slayer was safe and sound. "I'm happy to see you too luv," he whispered. "You gave me and the niblet quite a scare."  
Buffy backed away slightly so she could look into his eyes. "I... I don't even know what happened," she admitted. "Where are we?"  
Spike grinned. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you pet."  
"Try me," Buffy replied. "I think I'd believe just about anything after what I've seen."  
"Would you believe that we're standing inside my mind?" asked the vampire.  
Buffy's response was a blank stare.  
Spike sighed. "It makes more sense when Red explains it. Just trust me on this one."  
It took Buffy a moment to absorb the information Spike had just given her. "It actually makes sense. That explains why I've been seeing visions of the two of us. They must be your memories."  
"Visions you say? What kind of visions?" Spike felt somewhat uneasy.  
"What I saw isn't that important," replied Buffy. "What is important is what I realized after seeing them."  
Buffy reached down and grasped Spike's hands in hers. He waited anxiously for Buffy to speak. What if she had seen something horrible and now hated him? Or what if she never wanted to see him again?  
"I love you Spike."  
At first Spike didn't think he heard her right. 'Maybe this is my mind playing tricks on me,' he thought. He crinkled his brow in confusion. "What did you say luv?"  
Buffy could barely contain her happiness. "I said I love you silly."  
That time he was sure he heard her right. He felt tears forming in his eyes but he fought them back. Those were the words he had dreamed of hearing since he first laid eyes on her, even when he didn't yet have a soul. It was almost too much to take in. He had never before felt so happy, so alive...  
"I love you too Buffy," he finally replied, his eyes overflowing with love and emotion. "I love you more than words can say."  
With that, he pulled her close and kissed her, kissed her like he never had before. For the first time in his existence he loved someone with all his heart, and she now loved him in return.  
Lost in one another's embrace, neither noticed when the darkness began to clear and in its place appeared the soft yellow light of the sun. Grass and flowers sprung up around their feet, and the sky parted, revealing a blue as beautiful and pure as the ocean. When Buffy realized the change that had taken place she pulled back from Spike in alarm.  
"The sun!" she cried. "Spike you're going to burn up!"  
The vampire looked up at the sky and blinked his eyes. "It doesn't hurt," he said in amazement. "I can feel the sunlight but it just feels... like sunlight."  
Buffy was as shocked as Spike.  
Spike knew that the sunlight couldn't hurt him but for some reason he still didn't feel quite right. He felt... different somehow.  
A faint noise sounded in his ears and steadily grew louder but he didn't know where it was coming from. He began to ask, "Buffy, do you hear..." when it suddenly hit him.  
"It can't be."  
Buffy looked at him with concern. "What is it? What's wrong?"  
Without a word, he gently took her hand and rested it over his beating heart.  
"Spike," she whispered, her voice trembling. "You're alive!" 


	11. Dream vs Reality

Thank you for all of your reviews! It's what motivates me to keep writing. Well here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Disclaimer is still in chapter 1. As a side note, today airs the last episode of Angel. Don't forget to watch. I will be sitting in front of my TV tonight with a bowl of popcorn and a big box of Kleenex I'm sure.  
  
Buffy held her hand over Spike's beating heart, tears forming in her eyes. "How is this possible?" she asked.  
Spike didn't have any answers. He didn't know any more than Buffy why he was suddenly immune to sunlight or why he now found himself human. All he knew was that this was what he had dreamed almost every night, even though he had considered it impossible. He and Buffy, standing in a beautiful valley, looking into one another's eyes, the sunlight shining down upon them...  
"A dream," he mumbled. The truth hit him like a brick wall. "Buffy... I don't think this is real luv. Somehow we stumbled inside my dreams" His newly beating heart sank as he realized that all they were experiencing was only an illusion. For a moment he had thought... hoped it could be true. As he looked down at Buffy and saw the disappointment in her face, he was comforted with the knowledge that at least one thing was still real, the most important thing. Buffy still loved him.  
Buffy knew that Spike was right and for a moment she was overcome with sadness. To have him become alive before her eyes, and then take that all away from him... it wasn't fair. Then it hit her. He was still alive. Maybe not in reality and maybe not for very long, but at this moment, in this place, she and Spike were just two normal people who had fallen in love.  
Spike seemed to be reading her thoughts. He pulled her close once again and she found herself lost in the warmth of his embrace. She could feel the beating of his heart against her chest and the warmth of his fingertips as he gently stroked her hair. 'This isn't just a dream,' she thought as they fell upon the soft blanket of grass among the purple lilies. Spike gazed into Buffy's soft green eyes, amazed that in the light of the sun they were even more beautiful than he had thought possible. Buffy smiled up at him, comparing the blueness of his eyes to that of the sky above them. 'No. This had to be heaven.'  
  
Xander continued pacing the room and Dawn soon became dizzy from watching him.  
"What's taking so long?" he asked impatiently. "I hope Spike's not screwing up again."  
"It was never his fault," Willow reminded him. "Hmmph," replied Xander ignoring her comment. "It wouldn't be the first time Captain Peroxide made a mess of things."  
"That's not true," Dawn responded. "Remember the time Glory tortured him but he refused to tell her that I was the key?  
"Or the time he helped us when we did that spell to destroy Adam," Willow piped in. "Or then there was that time he..."  
"Alright already!" exclaimed Xander. "You think your own buddies would take your side," he mumbled under his breath.  
"Spike..." murmured Buffy.  
Dawn jumped in surprise. "Did you guys hear that? Buffy just said something!"  
The three friends rushed over the couch where Buffy and Spike lay. After the spell Spike's body had fallen limp and he now lay with his head resting on Buffy's shoulder.  
"I think she said 'Spike,' Dawn said excitedly. "He must have found her!"  
Willow put up her hand. "Shh... she's saying something else."  
They watched as a small smile spread across Buffy's lips. "I...love you Spike."  
Dawn, Xander, and Willow stared at each other speechless. Did they just hear that right?  
"I knew it!" shouted a furious Xander. "He's done something to her. He must have put her under some kind of spell. I knew that fangy creep couldn't be trusted. When I get my hands on him..."  
Willow put her hand on Xander's shoulder to calm him down. "Xander. Don't get so upset. We may have heard her wrong... or maybe she was just really happy to see a familiar face."  
Xander didn't appear too convinced by Willow's words, but he at least stopped attacking the TV set with his imaginary stake.  
"At least they're both ok," said Dawn. "Now they just have to get out of there and that shouldn't be too hard, right?" 


	12. The Double

I know it's been a while since I last updated but here's the next chapter. The disclaimer can be found in chapter 1 as usual. Don't forget to R&R!  
  
Buffy and Spike lay on the green blanket of grass, gazing at the cotton candy clouds above them. Pulling Buffy close, Spike pointed to one of the fluffy, white billows and laughed.  
"That one looks like Sunnyhell high school," he said. "Well, until you blew it up that is."  
"I didn't blow up the high school," Buffy protested. Frowning, she added, "Well... not by myself anyway."  
"No," Spike replied with a grin. "You got your Scoobies to help you."  
Buffy sat up and punched Spike lightly in the arm.  
"Hey!" he exclaimed laughing. "Human now remember? I'm no match for your slayer strength."  
Buffy lightly touched his arm. "I forgot. I didn't mean to hurt you..."  
Spike cut her off with a gentle kiss. "Didn't hurt a bit, luv. No worries."  
Smiling, Buffy cuddled close to Spike. She listened to the steady beating of his heart and felt his light breathing as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. This was a moment she wanted to remember forever.  
The silence was interrupted by a loud bang. Buffy and Spike jumped up, startled by the noise. The air around them suddenly grew cold and the sky grew dark.  
"What was that?" Buffy asked. Her every slayer sense told her something was wrong.  
Spike shook his head. "I think it came from over there." He gestured towards an area of the landscape that was overgrown with dense shrubbery and flowers. Buffy thought she saw something or someone hiding behind the bushes, but when she blinked her eyes, it was gone.  
"There's something back there," Buffy whispered and motioned for Spike to follow her. They cautiously made their way towards the dense foliage. Spike pushed away some of the leaves and branches and was shocked at what he found. It was the door, the same rusty iron door he had seen when he was first searching for Buffy. Blood still covered the outside but there were no longer screams coming from within. His heart sank when he realized the padlock was broken and the door was now open.  
"I saw that door before," Buffy said, her shoulders tensing. "I heard... people screaming."  
"So did I luv," Spike replied. He nervously reached for the handle and pulled the heavy door back so he could see inside. Without his vampire strength he realized that even opening the thick iron door proved difficult. Buffy prepared herself to fight whoever or whatever they might find.  
They found themselves staring into a small dark room, about the size of Buffy's bedroom. A pile of chains lay in one corner of the room, but besides that, it was empty.  
Buffy's shoulders relaxed but only slightly. "There's nothing there. That means whatever was inside managed to escape."  
"You always were one for stating the obvious, weren't you pet?" said a voice from behind.  
Spike and Buffy turned around, neither believing their ears.  
"Wait a bloody minute!" Spike shouted as he looked at the creature who had spoken. "You're... you're me!" He stared in awe at the exact double of himself standing before him. Everything was identical from the bleached blond hair to the scar over his eyebrow.  
"No," said the double with a smirk. "You used to be me. Before you went and got that pesky soul that is." With an evil laugh he changed into his game face and glared with yellow eyes at Buffy and Spike. "I'm the part of you you've tried to keep hidden these past few months. Thought you could lock me up and forget about me didn't you? Thought shagging your bloody slayer would make you forget about me but it didn't work, did it? I'm a part of you." He paused a moment and then laughed. "And now I'm going to kill you."  
The vampire lunged at Spike, knocking him to the ground. Spike struggled to stand but realized that without his vampire strength he was helpless. A mixture of awe and fear washed over him as he stared into the eyes of the vampire.  
Buffy kicked the vampire and sent him flying into a tree. The impact barely fazed him and he was soon back up again, this time focused on Buffy. He ran towards her at full speed and Buffy struck him in the jaw with a roundhouse kick. He countered with a quick punch in the stomach and Buffy groaned slightly.  
Spike knew he couldn't just stand there and watch. Vampire or not, he still knew how to fight better than most humans.  
Breaking off a thick tree branch, he charged at his double and hit him with the makeshift weapon. He went to strike again but this time the vampire caught the branch in midair and threw it aside like a Popsicle stick. It laughed menacingly and grabbed Spike by the shirt. "Do you honestly think you can defeat me?"  
"No," replied Buffy as she kicked the vampire and it fell to the ground, releasing its hold on Spike. "But I can." 


	13. Conclusion

Well here's the last chapter! I had a lot of fun writing this fic and hope you enjoyed reading it. Thanks to everyone for your supportive reviews!  
  
Spike watched in horror as the girl he loved faced off with his evil double. The scene was frightening but all too familiar. He thought back to the time when he and Buffy had been sworn enemies, a vampire and a vampire slayer. They had fought like that countless times, but it had never been more than a twisted, violent dance. This fight was different. This was a fight to the death.  
Buffy caught the vampire off guard with a quick series of punches and violently threw him to the ground. She picked a large tree branch off the ground and broke it in half over her knee. Holding the sharp, splintery weapon in her hand, she stood over Spike's double and paused. The vampire threw back his head and laughed wildly.  
"You know you can't do it luv. There's no bloody way you can look into my eyes and stake me in the heart. Your love makes you weak."  
Buffy was silent a moment and realized the creature was right. When she looked at him she saw Spike. She saw the man she loved. He had his same crystal blue eyes, his same crooked smile... She couldn't bring herself to...  
"Buffy."  
Startled out of her thoughts, Buffy looked up and met Spike's gaze. She was overcome with the immense love and affection that seemed to radiate from his eyes. This was the man she loved, not the creature lying before her. Buffy knew what she had to do.  
She turned her gaze back to the smirking vampire. "You're wrong," she began. "It's my love that makes me strong."  
With that she plunged the sharp branch into the heart of the vampire. Its eyes grew large in disbelief as it crumbled to nothing more than a pile of dust.  
Spike rushed over to Buffy and wrapped his arms around her. Buffy leaned against his chest and began to cry. Her salty tears spilled onto the ground and vanished into the dry earth.  
Tilting her chin upward, Spike wiped the tears from her cheeks.  
"Don't cry luv. I'm right here. That creature wasn't me."  
Buffy shook her head and looked into his eyes. "I'm not crying because of that. I'm crying because I love you so much."  
It took a minute for her words to sink in. 'She loves me. After all we've been through. After telling myself it wasn't possible... here I am holding her in my arms. And she loves me.'  
Spike couldn't help but grin. The smile lit up his entire face and his eyes glowed with a joy he had never felt before. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the scenery around them began to spin. Everything disappeared and for a moment he had the horrible thought that it had all been just a dream. With a gasp he opened his eyes and found himself lying on the couch in Buffy's living room. He found a very groggy Buffy waking up beside him and Giles, Xander, Willow, and Dawn standing around the couch with goofy smiles on their faces.  
"Buffy!" screeched Dawn with excitement. "You're awake!"  
Buffy blinked her eyes a few times as she took in her surroundings. An enthusiastic Dawn flung her arms around Buffy's neck and kissed her on the cheek. "I was so worried Buffy. Thank goodness Spike found you."  
"Yeah, it's good to see you again Buffster," added a grinning Xander.  
  
As Buffy reunited with her friends, Spike silently stood up and walked to the other side of the room. It wasn't possible. He knew it wasn't possible but somehow it was. Pausing in front of a window, he slowly pushed aside the blinds and looked out into the afternoon sunlight. Instead of the blinding pain he was used to experiencing, all he felt was the soothing warmth of the sun. He stood there a moment, listening to the beating of his heart and studying his reflection in the glass windowpanes. No one gave him any notice until Willow caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye.  
"Spike! Get away from the window!" she shouted with panic. "You'll burn up!"  
Spike was startled out of his daze and turned his attention to the frantic witch. A slow smile crept across his lips. "Don't be so dramatic Red," he replied. "It's not that hot outside."  
While the Scoobies stared at him speechless, Buffy ran over and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You're still human!" she cried. "It wasn't just a dream after all."  
"No luv," he said barely above a whisper. "It wasn't just a dream."  
Buffy's eyes were filled with tears of joy. "I love you Spike."  
"I love you too Buffy."  
Running his fingers through her golden hair, Spike leaned in for a kiss. He held her for a long time, savoring every moment, never wanting the kiss to end. He had everything he wanted, everything he had ever hoped for. Finally, his world was complete.  
  
THE END 


End file.
